"i come to you in pieces,so you can make me whole."

one of my favourite lines hahaha.

i've decided to leave rugby aside. i shall pursue photography and drums! i'm sticking with photography cos i'm doing it in school...hahaha.

i think jazlynn's msn is kuku. she isn't replying to my messages. nevermind. i think she's ignoring me because i didn't reply to her earlier in the day haha. doubt she'd ever do that though. nevermind. today was some tiring crap. i still have to pack for tomorrow...-_________- road trip ahhhhhhhh die die die. i cant sleep. my mind is jumping up and down. you know when i dont get a reply from jaz i start to panic. and im like shit the world is going to end! okayyyyyyy maybe not as bad la. but i just get real scared and paranoid. dont know why. :/

i cant sleeeeeeeep. someone call me! lol im just bored.

i had like a super epic conversation with mr chua during IH lesson!

we were trying to guess who were the 2 people that raffles spoke to when he entered singapore. we got the first guess,sultan hussein right...but the 2nd one was like..temenggong..but no one knew. then mr chua was like..c'mon...it starts with a T! Then i was like,MR CHUA I KNOW! TOM YUM GOONG! LOL then mr chua was like , Andre i dont want any Tony Jaa in my class HAHAHA Tom Yum Goong is actually a movie XD

sorry for bein kinda emo. was kinda pissed with something. stop asking me about jaz. yeah i know you all are concerned but please. give me a break. give her a break. dont go around disturbing her. >:( basket you all. anything that im doing...is all confidential. its stuck between 3 men! or boys. haha. today was tiring. its not nice sticking your eye to the viewfinder from 730am to 6pm. it sucks but hey im doing it for the school. so yeah :) i have to leave the orientation early tomorrow at like 5pm or earlier so that i can reach home,shower and get to Borders early enough. Gotta go celebrate my mom's birthday. I wish it wouldn't be tomorrow...I'm missing my all time favourite cca open house. :( But oh well. Sacrifice. On saturday I have tuition and then i have to go down to church...first i must find the route...from clementi mrt to where ah. SP guild house. sigh. its ok. gonna do it well. gonna do it good. SOS Call for jazlynn! 6th feb! it's a saturday. no,i am not inviting you for our vday event. But I need to see you. In the afternoon. Is 3pm fine? haha im like 3 weeks early but who gives a shit! I haven't done anything,but it's all ready for you. I just need you pass you a slip of paper. Haha. Gonna prepare for tomorrow. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ftw thank you Lord for today! tiring yet so wonderful!

peace out

God bless!

if i had only 5 minutes a day to talk to you...i wouldn't know what to tell you. because i have so much to say. but this is what i'd say if it really did happen.

i hope your day was great. i'm pretty sure it was. any plans for the week? guess you really miss your friends (from ofs.) huh. which is good! i really hope that you enjoy school and all that...and also enjoy the outings you have with your friends. thank God for everything,yeah. I really miss you. I really do.

If i were given 5 minutes only i think i'd cry all day. lol. when i don't get to talk to jaz i get that empty feeling. like she's part of me now. haha.

i guess i'm alright.

i'm just standing out with the streetlights,just me and God.

i know God has seen my heart break into pieces. and why is He just letting it happen again?

i wonder is He gonna do anything.

hello! today was fantastic! i love school. i must say i struggled to understand a very simple question in math class but there is nothing wrong with asking questions! english was the usual. it always is the same. it's like we don't go any higher or lower. that happened in 09 too. IH is fun. there's this retarded song that only leong chun,yee sin and i know! hahaha it's super fun to be chatting with them because they speak in mandarin most of the time and it's a great way for me to practise my mandarin. during recess,the most EPIC thing happened. awesome crap. seriously! christy like came up to me out of nowhere and she just asked if i could take photos for the sec 1 orientation camp...i was like...sureeeeeee! the bad thing is i've already missed day 1 and tbh day 1 was rather fun. i could hear all the rookies shouting and having lotsa fun. could also see the side of the councillors that you don't usually see. the fun,wacky side! haha. what else? :P i'm chargin' my camera,bringing in my earphones...i know i'll need it to kill time and make sure i'm occupied. i told myself for like 3 days i have to go down to 7-eleven to buy football weekly but i keep forgetting. irritating. i realised i'm low on cash too! actually i have like $30 in my cupboard but im like...nuh uh thats for sunday! haha so i cant spend it. if i must..then it'll have to be because of some crisis...i think i indeed need to thank God for this wonderful week! it has been good so far,and i cannot wait to really go out to the city again! i've been so busy spending time in church i hardly visit wheelock or ion anymore :( unlike yesterday! i felt so classy. i think that's because i splurged on 2 items only. hahaha.

on a less brighter note,

i realised it's so easy to realise whether love is there or not. i think in a way that if someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,it doesn't mean they don't love you. but to be honest,i really feel 0% of ANYTHING at all. No care,no concern or love. I don't even think about LOVE! I think love would consist of care and all. i used to have that empty feeling when jaz was gone in perth for like a week. because i couldnt talk to her. that was partially my fault because i deleted her i think lol. but still! and it's like i'm always contemplating on whether i should stay by jazlynn or just leave her. i know i'm not supposed to think or talk about her! but i don't know how to let it out if i speak to my friends! they've had enough of my rants about jaz. haha. and i realised i've been wallowing myself in self-pity alot. along with putting myself under aloot of emotional stress. that's gay haha. this has been an epic thing that has taken place in my life,and i've lost quite abit,but at the same time i've regained that lost portion of my heart and i've learnt alot in life. i don't think this was a test from God. it's more of a usual hurdle that God just sends our way. and He just pushes us over it,showing that He can make a difference in our life...or my life. and yeah i have a little gift for jaz! i gave up my 2 ideas. kinda cheesy. i don't want to buy her a tee shirt. she won't wear it. im super sure. haha. i won't go customize a bear for her! yeah it's sweet i think but nah i don't want her bed to have too many bears. of course all other ideas are confidential! teehee. and now it seems jaz is good with uwc! so i can leave her alone and just watch. at times i feel that she doesn't need me but wth,that's not the right spirit. i'm just not the right man for the right time. then the question of when will i be the right man? i just have to wait. patience! it's good to see her enjoy herself. and enjoy life! all works of God. (: alright,tomorrow's gonna be a long day so i'm gonna roll on my bed,listen to some niceeeeeeee music (red :P) ,read abit. get a nice drink...finish off with a prayer,and i'm off to sleep. I must remember to bring my cam...the most essential item for tomorrow. i hope my batt doesn't die.

and...after ps dixon's sermon last sun,i'm starting to LOVE my friends more! i learnt to really share,even if they destroy it or don't lend me things when i need it. it doesn't matter...haha i love the feeling when i share! at the same time it's good because i'm obeying God's word! i need a new copy of the "World's Manual." :P

alright,thats all. i'll try to update my blog tomorrow!

peace out!

God bless! :)

my day was frickin awesome. i went to buy my stupid $80 audio technica earphones. i thought they were $40..oh well. got another tee from pull and bear. im wicked!

cool kids dont shop alone. i do. so im uncool. very farnee.

night. uncool kids need lotsa sleep.