i have this friend. okay,maybe schoolmate. i don't really know her. she's on my facebook list though. and through her blog and facebook status updates,it seems like things in her family isn't going too good. im not going to go deep in and tell you what happened. but it seems like she needs help. more than just comforting words over facebook. but i just felt like i could do something to make a difference yet i failed to do it...need to do some soul searching...and praying of course. (:

Things aren't going to well for me. I think i've really come to my senses. It seems like you-know-who likes some other guy. i dont know if her pm where she asked someone to f**k off was referring to me. most likely it is. and that's why...nvm. she will see in 2 weeks time. like i said,whatever im passing to her is not going to change how she thinks. how she treats people. but really i am beginning to doubt whatever she said earlier...of course i dont judge. i dont assume. im trying to keep my head back and making sure i dont jump to conclusions. maybe that "thing" i pass to her will just really make her think about those who just care for her so much...i dont expect anything in return. but i really cannot take it anymore. it's too late for me to turn back. too late for her to do anything. i've done my work. i just need to pass the "thing" to her. and thats the last thing she'll ever see or get from me. it will not make an impact on her. but it will be a constant reminder.

i feel pretty numb at times when i think of her. it just hurts to see her like this...and to see me doing this to her again. but really,this time i aint turning back. no more chances. i dont wanna get tortured again. sucks.

God bless!

Peace out.

Sometimes people don't stop in life to think and look around,and when they don't...they miss all the important aspects of life. And some just keep moving on. Well hey,some people stopped with you,showed you utmost concern and care. And what did you do? You walked off. Is that how you treat people who REALLY CARE for you?

i'm sorry for lecturing you.

i'm no deacon,i'm no pastor.

i'm no dad,i'm no brother.

but i'm trying my very best to give you advice.

i could be wrong,i could be right. but take it as life lessons.

maybe you don't wanna listen to me

that's perfectly fine. but keep it in your head. you may need it someday.

you can be as angry as you want...

but if you wanna stay that way,no one's gonna really like you. maybe that guy.

smile,and you're on your first step back to being a happy cheerful girl.

God bless!

Peace out.

Where has the old friend gone?

Maybe it's time you start thinking,

It's time you start thinking about others.

There is no turning back for now.

Heavenly Father,
You're all I want,
You're all I need,
You're everything.
Everything.

Tomorrow Master JC is coming over to my place! Apparently he is pretty much unfamiliar with Windows Movie Maker...kinda shocked hahaha. Well tomorrow I end school at 230? Get home by 330? Have lunch...4/430? Then I'll rest for awhile before I dress up and head down to the field to practise my drop kicks and goal kicks. Eos passed me back my camera. Kinda shocked and upset. 870 photos...lol. And most of the photos at the start when I left looked pretty solid...and the end most of them were badly shot. Kinda wasted but i guess things don't always go how we want them to. Of course,it's still good and i indeed have to thank Eos and her minions...I know more than just one person touched the camera.

Ok,I tried asking Jaz to come for the vday event! Seriously! I did! But she said she doesn't know if she can come or not. That does not matter! But if she can come...wah everyone will be super kan cheong! Like every youth in Mt Carmel is so curious how Jaz looks like! I think I have said too much about her in church. Oh dear haha. It'll be great if she can come though! Then she'll get to meet super cool people...like JC and Annabel. I remember on the first day when I brought Isabel to church,on our way back we saw Bel! Then while we were waiting for the bus,Ian called me and I had to rush back to church...so I left Isabel in Bel's hands. Sounds weird but yes lol! And it seems like Bel got to know more about Isabel. Cool stuff. Anyway,I have to pay up...for my ticket. I was supposed to do so like last sunday but I didn't have $14! XD $12 for friends! Super cool stuff. Indeed thank God I am still wide awake despite it being 1030. I will have to get up at 515am tomorrow so that I can prepare early enough...and get to school early to finish whatever homework I have. Although tomorrow is a very,very short day! Down with PE,Literature,English and IH! And like I don't have to bring alot of stuff...so it seems like instead of my bag being the lightest on a friday,it's the lightest on a tuesday. Awesome. Like a few minutes ago I started coughing...don't know why. I kept going on...then I think my mom got worried and thought I was having an asthma attack so she came into my room. Lulz. Yes,I am Anti Social. I am also emo. Yeah I joke around on msn quite abit but I've stopped hanging out with my friends and all. Not because I feel left out but I just feel that we have nothing in common. Except people in church because we do have something in common. We all love and worship God! But yeah I'm kinda staying away from them too. Being emo and anti social isn't fun but I am pretty much used to it. Of course I'm in for a short chit chat,why not! But I'm not gonna really hang out alot now. I think Putri's parents were abit shocked to see me playing alone in the field today. Doesn't matter. Tomorrow's a newwwww day!

See you all!

Peace out,

God bless!

I'm taking risks,

I'm doing it for the last time.

Yes,I'm still hurt and pretty much upset,

But there is no harm in trying.

This is my last try,before I take my leave.

And this time,there is no turning back.

whats going on now,girl?

are you asking me to leave you?

but i've seen it all,

and it's not enough.

cos it keeps me needing you.

i'm gonna be anti social for a long time.

i ain't gonna talk to anybody.

just God. and just you.

cos i wanna get things right. i wanna get you done with.

if you want me to leave,tell me.

if you want me to stay,don't stay silent.

tell me.

jaz is ignoring me. lol. i am getting abit worried. maybe she's testing me. or maybe she's just pissed. i'll leave it this way. i'll just hold on. weird.

Dear Eos,

I would like you to know that you have such a...

adaptable

adorable

agreeable

alert

alluring

ambitious

amused

boundless

brave

bright

calm

capable

charming

cheerful

coherent

comfortable

confident

cooperative

courageous

credible

cultured

dashing

dazzling

debonair

decisive

decorous

delightful

detailed

determined

diligent

discreet

dynamic

eager

efficient

elated

eminent

enchanting

encouraging

endurable

energetic

entertaining

enthusiastic

excellent

excited

exclusive

delicious

tasty

juicy

sweet

spicy

sour

and sexy smile.