hahaha what a nice lie. ok best not to assume.

how can you say i blocked you when i didn't? I checked everything. I even searched your name over and over again on the search bar. Nothing. So I decided to do the extreme. I created another account and searched your name. PERFECT. I found you. So who blocked who???

May has been shit. June too. Sigh.

i need someone to love.

the world's just crumbling all on me. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK this. I do not know how many fucks it will take for me to vent all my anger out. Fuck. Seriously. FUCK ME AND FUCK THIS AND THAT AND YOU. Fuck all of this.

What am I living for?

I lost Jaz. Game on.

My exam results are like bullshit. Game on.

I can't play Rugby. Game on.

I just screw myself,every single day.

Fuck.

This.

no one reads my blog already i guess. it's okay. i'll just use this to let my thoughts out. official rugby training has started and i've been told to either play flanker or forward. i mean like wth prop forward supposed to be real big and bulky like bennett. physcically intimidating...i'm 167cm but im a monstrous 78kg. Duno if that's good. Also told to get grip mitts and a scrum cap...whatever for? lol i think boots can wait. gonna get ma grip mitts and scrum cap tmr though =D life's real sucky and i miss jaz but yeah i gotta let go and i'm forgetting everything slowly...cant wait for church camp!!!!

go for rugby training

kill myself

body aches so fucking badly

sleep

wake up in the morning

fuckin knee hurts like shit.

i give it a kick. gets worse.

pain stays for damn long.

Do it,all over again.

Let me make that even better,for you.

I see you.

Try to talk.

Doesn't work.

Re-think my strategy.

Wait,do I even have a chance at talking to you?

No,I don't.

But I don't realise it.

Do it,all over again.

i like you.

i love you.

but it may never,ever come true.

let's go.

on a new journey.

far beyond what we can imagine.

i realised there's this love...for me that's way stronger than just my love for jaz. God's love is far greater than this little earthly love we have.

how great,is our God?