hello! today was fantastic! i love school. i must say i struggled to understand a very simple question in math class but there is nothing wrong with asking questions! english was the usual. it always is the same. it's like we don't go any higher or lower. that happened in 09 too. IH is fun. there's this retarded song that only leong chun,yee sin and i know! hahaha it's super fun to be chatting with them because they speak in mandarin most of the time and it's a great way for me to practise my mandarin. during recess,the most EPIC thing happened. awesome crap. seriously! christy like came up to me out of nowhere and she just asked if i could take photos for the sec 1 orientation camp...i was like...sureeeeeee! the bad thing is i've already missed day 1 and tbh day 1 was rather fun. i could hear all the rookies shouting and having lotsa fun. could also see the side of the councillors that you don't usually see. the fun,wacky side! haha. what else? :P i'm chargin' my camera,bringing in my earphones...i know i'll need it to kill time and make sure i'm occupied. i told myself for like 3 days i have to go down to 7-eleven to buy football weekly but i keep forgetting. irritating. i realised i'm low on cash too! actually i have like $30 in my cupboard but im like...nuh uh thats for sunday! haha so i cant spend it. if i must..then it'll have to be because of some crisis...i think i indeed need to thank God for this wonderful week! it has been good so far,and i cannot wait to really go out to the city again! i've been so busy spending time in church i hardly visit wheelock or ion anymore :( unlike yesterday! i felt so classy. i think that's because i splurged on 2 items only. hahaha.

on a less brighter note,

i realised it's so easy to realise whether love is there or not. i think in a way that if someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,it doesn't mean they don't love you. but to be honest,i really feel 0% of ANYTHING at all. No care,no concern or love. I don't even think about LOVE! I think love would consist of care and all. i used to have that empty feeling when jaz was gone in perth for like a week. because i couldnt talk to her. that was partially my fault because i deleted her i think lol. but still! and it's like i'm always contemplating on whether i should stay by jazlynn or just leave her. i know i'm not supposed to think or talk about her! but i don't know how to let it out if i speak to my friends! they've had enough of my rants about jaz. haha. and i realised i've been wallowing myself in self-pity alot. along with putting myself under aloot of emotional stress. that's gay haha. this has been an epic thing that has taken place in my life,and i've lost quite abit,but at the same time i've regained that lost portion of my heart and i've learnt alot in life. i don't think this was a test from God. it's more of a usual hurdle that God just sends our way. and He just pushes us over it,showing that He can make a difference in our life...or my life. and yeah i have a little gift for jaz! i gave up my 2 ideas. kinda cheesy. i don't want to buy her a tee shirt. she won't wear it. im super sure. haha. i won't go customize a bear for her! yeah it's sweet i think but nah i don't want her bed to have too many bears. of course all other ideas are confidential! teehee. and now it seems jaz is good with uwc! so i can leave her alone and just watch. at times i feel that she doesn't need me but wth,that's not the right spirit. i'm just not the right man for the right time. then the question of when will i be the right man? i just have to wait. patience! it's good to see her enjoy herself. and enjoy life! all works of God. (: alright,tomorrow's gonna be a long day so i'm gonna roll on my bed,listen to some niceeeeeeee music (red :P) ,read abit. get a nice drink...finish off with a prayer,and i'm off to sleep. I must remember to bring my cam...the most essential item for tomorrow. i hope my batt doesn't die.

and...after ps dixon's sermon last sun,i'm starting to LOVE my friends more! i learnt to really share,even if they destroy it or don't lend me things when i need it. it doesn't matter...haha i love the feeling when i share! at the same time it's good because i'm obeying God's word! i need a new copy of the "World's Manual." :P

alright,thats all. i'll try to update my blog tomorrow!

peace out!

God bless! :)